I Chastised Myself

​We lie wasted on satin sheets

That resemble the colour of love.

The smooth fabric veiling our naked selves

And tenderly embracing our bodies.

I lay with eyes closed, 

Absorbing the divine interaction

That ended few seconds ago,

Panting, smiling, nuzzling against his throat

Then gazing at the ceiling with drooping eyes.

I wake up happy and calm

All wrapped up in his arms

Unaware of when I slept 

I take a deep breath, and draw myself back to the scene

And turn around to caress his face, but I freeze

And experience a sudden change of mood

The hitherto ecstatic demeanor changes to that of disgust

As reality takes over and I curse myself.

I get up, dress up and kiss him goodbye

And grab few beers enroute my home.

All night I rest on my arm chair

Thinking of what I’ve become now

I think about him and then you

And apologize to myself, 

For I laid in the bed of an unknown

To punish myself for loving you.

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11 thoughts on “I Chastised Myself

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